If you thought we ran out of dad jokes… you clearly don’t know dads. Here’s another batch of clean, classic, and corny dad jokes to keep your readers laughing (or cringing). Perfect for light-hearted fun and family-friendly chuckles!
1. Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
2. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
3. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
4. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s really uplifting.
5. I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
6. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
7. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
8. I don’t trust calendars. Their days are numbered.
9. What did one hat say to the other? You stay here — I’ll go on ahead.
10. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
11. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
12. Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like stakes.
13. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
14. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
15. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
16. Why do pancakes always win at baseball? Because they have the best batter.
17. I only know one joke about paper. It’s tearable.
18. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
19. Why did the dad sit on the remote? Because he wanted to control the situation.
20. Why was the broom so late? It over-swept.
21. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
22. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hey bud!
23. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.
24. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
25. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
26. Why did the golfer bring an extra shirt? In case he got a hole in one.
27. Why can’t you trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
28. What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A milkshake.
29. Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing.
30. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it’s R, but it’s the C.
31. I once had a job as a professional cricket impersonator. It was a real chirp off the old block.
32. What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
33. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went… then it dawned on me.
34. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints.
35. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
36. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
37. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
38. I told my wife she was average. She said it was mean.
39. Why can’t your hand be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
40. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
41. I told my dog to play dead… and now he won’t get up.
42. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
43. I got a reversible jacket for Christmas. I can’t wait to see how it turns out.
44. How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern…
45. Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their buttquacks.
46. I couldn’t figure out how to put my seatbelt on. Then it “clicked.”
47. What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
48. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
49. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
50. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells.
51. Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? Because she kept running away from the ball.
52. What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung.
53. Why do ghosts like elevators? They lift their spirits.
54. I used to be a Velcro salesman. I couldn’t stick with it.
55. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
56. How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper.
57. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
58. Why don’t you iron four-leaf clovers? You don’t want to press your luck.
59. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
60. I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, actually, it’s more of a wrap.
61. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets.
62. What do elves use to take notes in school? Their elf-abet.
63. Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because you can see right through them.
64. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
65. Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-bodies.
66. What kind of eggs do evil chickens lay? Deviled eggs.
67. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
68. Why did the bicycle collapse? It was two-tired.
69. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
70. Why did the scarecrow become a stand-up comedian? He was outstanding in his field.
71. I got a new job as the head of Old MacDonald’s farm. I’m the CIEIO.
72. I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK but I feel like I dyed a little inside.
73. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
74. Why did the gym close down? It just didn’t work out.
75. Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on many levels.
76. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
77. What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
78. What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “Graaaaaains!”
79. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
80. I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
81. I gave all my dead batteries away today… free of charge.
82. I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home all the signs were there.
83. I used to date a girl named WiFi… we just didn’t connect.
84. I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
85. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
86. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? “I want you inside me.”
87. How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
88. I told my wife I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
89. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
90. What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel.
91. How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.
92. Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school? Because they’re all in high school.
93. What do you call a pencil with two erasers? Pointless.
94. Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head.
95. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
96. I bought a boat because it was for sail.
97. Want to hear a roof joke? It’s on the house.
98. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
99. What do you call an unpredictable camera? A loose Canon.
100. I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.
We hope these 100 corny dad jokes brought a smile to your face or gave you something fun to share with friends and family. Whether you’re looking for a quick laugh or planning to bookmark this list for later, we’re glad you dropped in.